Rejection: Reframed

Let's be real—rejection stings. We’ve all faced it in some form, whether it's:

• Being turned down for a date with someone you like

• Losing a job to another candidate

• Missing out on a promotion

• Not being invited to a social gathering with friends

This list hits close to home for many of us. Experiencing rejection is painful and often takes a toll on our confidence.

In the realm of job hunting, which most of us have navigated, JobList conducted a study with over 1,000 job seekers. The findings? Nearly half reported a drop in confidence after a rejection, and this typically set in after five rejections.

Rejection feels tough

I’ve faced my own share of rejections lately.

The cycle of anticipation, followed by the gut-wrenching “I’m sorry to inform you…” response, is both embarrassing and disappointing.

It's tempting to brush it off, but recently, I’ve learned to embrace these moments more constructively. Here’s how:

How Rejection Can Be Used to Our Advantage

1. Gain More Self-Awareness: I started asking for concrete feedback from interviewers and prospective clients. Understanding my strengths and areas for improvement allows me to either highlight my strengths more effectively or address my gaps.

   For example, if I describe my style as "fun" but come across as stern, it’s crucial to recognize this dissonance.

2. Develop a Concrete Development Plan: I focus on realistic changes to close those gaps. By analyzing all feedback, I look for recurring themes. Which areas should I prioritize for change, and which ones might I leave as they are?

3. Redirection: Rejection helps me refine my focus. Often, in hindsight, the job, client, or relationship wasn’t the right fit anyway.

An entrepreneur Jia Jiang recorded what he learned from 100 days of rejection therapy. This is now viewed more than 10 million times!

Ultimately, we need to extend grace and self-compassion when dealing with disappointment. Embrace the learning, and let’s keep moving forward.

Stay Courageous,

Joping

Joping is a Certified Self-Leadership Coach and a solopreneur in the making. She writes about everything in between intention and action, and believe courage makes the biggest difference.