How to get the best out of people you love (and retain your own sanity)

Hi there!

It’s another Sunday and another week is beginning!

A big part of leading an empowering life is to feel in control of your thoughts, emotions and actions.

Reminder: You do have control over your thoughts, emotions and actions.

And once in a while you might come across figures in your life who like to tell you what to do.

It feels well-intentioned at the start but could grow into annoyance quite quickly. Simply because we don’t need someone telling us how to lead our lives.

Just like how you would prefer to be heard than to be cut off with unsolicited advice, you might want to approach with curiosity instead of solutions.

Here are 3 questions you can use to help people you love, feel empowered

Whether you are a manager, team mate or spouse or parent, these questions apply.

These questions have helped me open up the opportunities to support where is really needed, build trust and intimacy.

What do you think/feel?

If you are up to really make a difference, focus on their emotions. The best saying I’ve heard all year so far is: “There are 2 speeds to get to someone. You can either help them think and move at the speed of walking or help them feel at the speed of a bullet train.”

Depending on the occasion, use your judgement call. Some might be annoyed if there is a specific piece of advice they are expecting.

For example, when you know someone is looking to your expertise and when there is a objective correct answer (e.g. whose approval is needed? ) Also, from personal experience, when the person is very new to the role or task, this might not feel supportive.

What is really bothering you?

We might not be able to articulate our needs clearly,. Well, at least in the first instance and until we talk about how we feel.

You might have people you know who will dump everything they are upset about on you. Don’t feel obliged to help make sense of what is truly the problem affecting them.

Ask!

And what else?

This might be the most powerful question of the lot.

The idea here is to keep your reaction simple and without you offering any advice. This gives you time to react with a level head and also gives the other person time to work through their thoughts

These questions are meant to help to gain more self awareness and retain empowerment and control around their situation.

If you are the go to “aunt agony” for your friends, saying less and asking more could help you retain your own energy and boundaries.

Stay Courageous,

Joping

Have you been putting off something and then hate the feeling of procrastination? I can help you:

👉 Clarify and strengthen your intentions

👉 Unpack what’s holding you back

👉 Stay accountable and supported on your action plan

Hit reply to chat more!

Joping is a Certified Self-Leadership Coach and a solopreneur in the making. I write about everything in between intention and action, and believe courage makes the biggest difference.